I was going to start this final post of my serendipitous interactions with Carolyn Cassady in 2012, with “Sadly our communication died in a wholly inauspicious manner”. This is not correct. Just as our interaction emerged from the ether, it so receded back into the quantum goo that connects us all. The fact that it indeed ended on a tragic note is no more than the way it ended. No judgment, although irony oozes from these final emails. Within a year, Carolyn would pass. I have no idea if she was able to see John beforehand. RIP wonderful woman.
From: Peebler, David
Sent: Wednesday, July 11, 2012 1:59 PM
To: ‘Carolyn Cassady’
For us, it’s been awhile… I hope you are well.
I apologize for sharing bad news with you, but you were one of the people I wished to reach out to after I was told this morning that my dear friend from university, Rachelle, was found dead in her Belgravia house. You may have heard already from your news and newspapers. Crack, heroin and cocaine. 48 years old. 4 children. It never ceases to amaze me just how destructive people can be. Her children are left to pick up the pieces as their father is clearly a shell of a man, a mere shadow. In the end, billions of pounds sterling did nothing for them. I find myself deep in the pit of pity. May she find the peace she never had while she was alive.
One thing I have learned is that life goes on, with you or without you.
From: Carolyn Cassady
Sent: Saturday, July 14, 2012 2:24 PM
To: Peebler, David
I just hate hate hate drugs! I do so regret the reason people go for them. When son, John, was on coke, he said “It makes you feel so good.”
Of ccourse, I can understand that. It’s why people drink as well. What a shame our culture doesn’t teach or encourage things like meditation or teach the destruction those substances cause. There is so much power in the mind, but there is no education to teach or explore it. I did investigate on my own, since I’m so curious. I got in some iffy areas, but thankfully I stayed clear. Like I had to appear at a hippy picnic, and they passed a joint. Not wanting to offend I took a puff, but I regretted it. I just have to know I am in control! Then I wrote about having to smoke at another party and the results. Those experiences taught me I don’t want anything outside my mind and choices to interfere with my own choices. “Every day there is put before you good and evil. Choose thou.”
Ah yes, life, karma never dies. Lessons lessons. But I empathize with your pain.
Well, as you know the Olympics are to be near London, so the whole area where I live is paranoid. There are something like 35,000 soldiers coming for security, since the usual couldn’t provide enough men. I’d like to tell them what you fear comes upon you, but ha, fat chance they’d believe that. And like begets like. Ah well, I think this is what’s keeping John away. They aren’t letting in any immigrants—so afraid of terrorists. And my dear son is a pussycat. He is the kindest person they’d ever know. Maybe I’ve laid all this on you already—sorry. Both of us tormented.
My house guest all excited tonight, since tomorrow he goes again to London for a Paul Simon concert in Hyde Park. He will probably have to stay over night, if he can’t get the 11:30 last train. Can’t help him—no more friends with accomodations in London. He is getting a huge kick out of all there is to offer in London as well as the Olympics.
I hope to hear from my MP about John on Monday—didn’t today. But not a lot of hope with security so tight. May have to just be patient until things settle down again.