In last week’s post, Carolyn gives me an opening to ask questions that were important to me at the time and her opinionated personality came into focus. Her desire to know more about me is flourishing at this point and I was more than happy to oblige. In our next exchange, Carolyn opens up about relationships, her love for Kerouac and how no one could fill Neal’s shoes. Next, we moved on to Hollywood, her love of movies and other streams of consciousness that emerge for her.
From: Carolyn Cassady
Sent: Thursday, June 07, 2012 8:31 AM
To: Peebler, David
‐‐William W. Purkey
I’ll be interested in what you think of the film of OTR. I won’t get to see it until I can get a DVD of it. Walter has become a very close friend over the years he has been working on the film. He doesn’t want me to see it, because he thinks I’ll think of it as a documentary not as an adaptation of a book of fiction. I shall try to convince him otherwise. He said he’d give me DVDs of his earlier films—I’d no idea he had made so many! I have two only. I expect another visit in August when he returns to his studio in Paris. He is currently at home in Rio.
Hmm, I thought I explained why I regretted divorcing Neal. My original intention was to set him free of family responsibilities and live the life he preferred. It was only later I learned he always felt unworthy—the Catholic sinner, and he cherished two features in his life that did make him feel worthy. One pillar was the RR, so when they wouldn’t take him back, that one went. Then when I divorced him the other support to his self-esteem was removed. He was back to feeling worthless.
Yes, we are here to learn, and we learn by our mistakes—if we do. Everyone is on the ladder to perfection—all on different rungs. Karma.
As for other men, I loved Kerouac, too. But the two men were so different, the “loving” was on different planes. But, as Gavin Arthur said, our hearts are too big to hold just one. And some men are suited to the institution of marriage and some aren’t. I was raised to believe in it as a lifetime vow, and my parents were my example. Alas, I had more learning to do. And yes, I have had affairs with other men—I seem to have been a magnet, so I “go along”. But so far no one fills the bill.
Hey—I just remembered Neal’s favorite quote: “I used to look for answers from others. I now know all the answers are within myself.” (Or close.)
From: Peebler, David
Sent: Thursday, June 07, 2012 10:41 AM
To: ‘Carolyn Cassady’
Subject: RE: OFF THE ROAD…
Thank you for remembering, I love and wholly subscribe to Neal’s quote!!
OTR hits theaters December here in the U.S. and I believe it opens much earlier in the U.K. (like mid‐September). Whenever even the most deft of directors/writers/producers try to boil down and then present decades of experiences into a two hour movie, it is merely a single reflection many times removed of what the reality truly was. Someone once said something like “cinema is the preserve of ambition and folly in pursuit of illusion or delusion”. I tend to agree, but there is always the possibility that a movie touches the deepest part of your being. That is when film truly becomes art. Too bad these instances are so few and far between…
I have had a very, very busy week of travel, meetings and some very late evenings. I can tell you that it surely doesn’t get easier as one gets older, but I’m sure that I’m preaching to the choir. Ha, silly me!
The weather here right now has been ideal for me: 17 C degrees at night and 22.5 C degrees during the day. Slight breeze. No clouds. Fresh air. What more can one who is standing smack dab in the middle of an urban jungle ask for? Life at this very moment – right here and now – is very good indeed. I have a happy, thriving family; loving wife, incredible kids and we all have our health, thank God. Come to think of it, isn’t that the only thing we truly have, our health??
Well, my dear Carolyn, I’d like to leave you with one of the quotes that I carry in my heart, you’ve probably heard of it before, but I am presenting it to you anyway, just because:
“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, Love like you’ll never be hurt, Sing like there’s nobody listening and live like it’s heaven on earth.”
Ciao for niao,
[My response to Carolyn’s next email is in Bold]
From: Peebler, David
Sent: Thursday, June 07, 2012 3:25 PM ‘Carolyn Cassady’
Subject: RE: MY BOOK
From: Carolyn Cassady [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org] Sent: Thursday, June 07, 2012 11:37 AM
To: Peebler, David
Subject: MY BOOK
NO NO NO—don’t send the book! My publisher brought me a whole stack, which I don’t otherwise know what to do with! SO, aha, I can sign and send one to you!
What do you do at Warner Bros? When I was 12 I got a tour of all the film studios. My uncle was the wealthy manager of California fruit growers Exchange (Sunkist to you) and somehow that opened lots of doors. It was, of course, a big thrill. In my teens my girlfriends and I would send for photographs of our favorite stars, and some even signed them. (Alas, they were all ripped off—again my nemesis of trusting people.) Kinda strange you have a rather low opinion of film. I am a big fan of Kurosawa and David Lean—well, I like Hitchcock, of course. I had a collection of Ingmar Bergman, but I gave it to a Swedish girl friend. His aren’t the kind of film you watch over and over.
I worked at Warner Bros. in London for 10 years (1986‐96) at 135 Wardour St. I lived in many areas of London, but spent most of my time in Notting Hill. Previously, I had graduated college (where one of my friends was “Barry” Obama!) and travelled the world for two years. I then got the job because it gave me the opportunity to travel and get paid for it. As the youngest Director of Sales & Marketing, I was responsible for selling all of the film and TV products to the emerging and existing television, satellite and cable stations throughout Europe. It was great until it sucked. I too LOVE Hitchcock, Lean and Kurasawa!
Then at the end of the war I went to Paramount to see Bob Hope. I had spent the war at an Army Hospital in Palm Springs. Hope had opened the hospital, so we asked him to come close it. He said he had other commitments, but he was nice. While waiting for him to finish his scene, Joseph Shildkraut came over to me and flirted outrageously. He was dressed in the 18th C costume of the film—black velvet suit, frothy white cravat, white wig. He kept touching me with his lorgnette. He then went back to the other side of the set, and a young blonde bimbo came up to him and kissed him. Humph, fickle!! But he had been one of my favorite villains. Until then. I have always regretted that the film Hope was doing was never released. It was Monseur Baucaire, I think that’s how it’s spelled. Hilarious, or what we saw. And he was so funny. He forgot his lines, but he just kept babbling, and it took a while for the director to catch on he wasn’t saying the script. He had a bicycle with a sign on it, “Drop it brother”.
I have never heard of a “lorgnette”, but it sure does sound obscene…hahahahaha!
I have since been to Warner Bros, too. The horrible film Heart Beat was made there or a subsidiary. Mea culpa.
Okay, that’s my big H’wood experience. Your turn.
I am glad you have such a lovely and loving family. At least somebody does!
OH, and I LOVE that quote— a new one on me. Wonderful! (Tho not easy to do)
It just came to me and I was sure somehow you would enjoy that quote.
Right back at you! ‐‐David